Trying not to stress

Ok so I am not going to talk about being sad. I am workin my way through that with prayer. I named this blog 'trying not to stress' because that is exactly what I am doing. I am actively trying not to stress.

We are using an app called My days to track my cycle my BBT's and my cervical mucus. I would track cervix positioning but i don't really understand how... (embarrasing but true). Any way, we think we ovulated this month, however all of my beginning temps were high 96's then went up to the mid/high 97's then went up to 98 once or twice before coming down which they are supposed to. But most BBT charts start in the 97's and I am wondering if it is low progesterone keeping me below that.

Still this is the most normal cycle I have had, and I contribute it to low carb living. I  have felt better on this diet than i have in a long time. I haven't had any break through bleeding, which further makes me happy. The reason being is  my doctor said I had the break through bleeding because i was trying to ovulate but my body actually was not or could not, not sure which one. Anyway, I am prayerful.

Next month thanks to our handy dandy android app 'my days', i am going to use the OPK, Clear blue Easy to see if I am indeed ovulating. I hate those things because they were telling me I wasn't ovulating right around the time I conceived my daughter. Now knowing what I know I probably wasn't ovulating then, because I didn't conceive my daughter until I went on a diet and lost about 15lbs.

I am off the low carb for THIS WEEKEND ONLY.... the reason being is I have a reception to go to and we are also celebrating my 31st birthday. It was a perfect weekend to go off because we get to start on April 1st which is Monday. Sooo in an effort to make the transition back on easier we went shopping on Friday for all the low carb foods that will get us through the week....Low carb Paleo is where it is at for me but it is one of the hardest diets i have been on.

Other issues in my life, me and my mom are squabbling some because I feel like she doesn't want to understand me as an adult, also I feel like she doesn't appreciate me as a person or a friend or a daughter. I am at a point in my life where I feel like it is ok to let someone know how you feel as long as it is not in a disrespectful manner. Also having made your position known it is ok to back away from that person to give them time to ascertain whether or not they want to continue to pursue a relationship with you. whether they want to grow it. Mother daughter, husband wife etc etc need love and attention respect and openness to continue to grow and evolve.

However, because she is my mother. I am not going to let this break last too long, last time we stopped talking it was more public and it hurt my family a great deal, especially my Mimmi, who I love to know end....so because I don't like division in the family and because I really don't think my mom cares one way or another I will make my way over there at some point a few months from now. But right now I am hurt by what I perceive as our inability to really relate to one another. I relate to my aunts great, i think it is because they respect me, and they are willing to spend time with me. My auntie dot dot shows me how to cook stuff, and my Bean goes shopping with me and shows me about flowers. My mom was here a solid month when I asked her to help me pot my flower she kept putting me off, again and again.

Me and Henry read about how to do it but because I had paid so much for the flower I didn't want to kill it I was just needing someone to show me how to do it once and I am a quick study after that. My Bean showed me and Henry how to do it in the garage on a weekend trip down here....I soooo appreciated that, and it was fun and now I know something new that I can teach Layna how to do it.... But it made me sad my mom wouldn't show me when she knew how it only took ten minutes.

Then on the other side of that same token she wants me at her beck and call to help with homework, or take her here or there or whatever else we are talking about. So I just feel used sometimes, it goes deeper than that but this is a blog not a dissertation of the dynamics of my relationship with my
mother.

Now that I am a mother I realize it is a hard job so I try not to be critical of my own mother. Just this morning me and the hubby had to hold firm with our lil one. She didnt want to go over her site words and her letters before Sat morning cartoons. But we held firm and explained to her that we would learn a little bit first and then do some funnies, which are cartoons here....Finally after two full minutes of pouting she did her lesson, which lasted maybe 15 minutes and then we explained as a reward she could watch her beloved OSO. LOL my life...gotta love it.

Well in summary--> losing weight is working for me, I am feeling better. I am thinking I did ovulate this month and I am still taking the FIGHTERS road. Prayer, Praise, Dieting and Bloggin this is my life..

misc thought maybe I should start adding pics to this blog. I will think about it.

See ya.