Vitals, I am 221 pounds, I started at 234 pounds.
My blood pressure is down to 119/79
And on average I am working out three days a week walking 2+ miles and lifting weights.
No abnormal breakthrough bleeding lets hope this persist, day 20 of my cycle. I think I did ovulate this month. I have been monitoring my BBT and charting it on my android using a app called 'my days'
Ok so here goes the fun part my life. Last time I was hear I talked about me and the hubbin arguing because he would not consent to start adoption processes, not even preliminary paperwork. He advised that we stay with God. I was really angry at him I felt like he did not understand.
But somewhere in there I realized that I am this man's wife, and I need to at least try to see his view point, that was my first revelation. It lead me to my second which is God is not in 'confusion' God is not into discourse, rebellion (of this fashion) and strife. He made me this man's wife and as such I need to remember what I am trying to grow into which is the Proverb's 31 woman. On top of that I had been praying for God to keep building Hubbin up in his leadership of this family, as he is already naturally a good leader but I always feel you need to keep your family especially your man lifted in prayer.
So what happens when you are praying God to cultivate leadership in your man to another level and in doing so the man disagrees with you in what you consider to be a mighty way. Well first, you pout, express your dissatisfaction with his answer and typically begin your you are a insensitive alien from the planet Male... LOL at least that is what I did. After that conversation, I then cried, and then I got into my word and realized the Lord tells wives, 'submit unto your husbands as unto the Lord....I got to thinking maybe this is an opportunity for me to submit to his leadership when we both are not on the same page, which rarely happens. I am blessed with a husband who I share very similar values with, so philosophically typically we are almost always on the same page. Execution, uuuuuuhhh well yeah one out of two ain't bad. (big smile)
Anyway, this revelation lead me to another one. Sometimes, as a woman even though your heart is in something, God is still about order. So in that I recognized my husband as the head of our household and decided that although I didn't like his answer I would respect it, stop hounding him about adoption and start to pray. See I realized the devil was HAVING a field day with my emotions like a field day for real ya'll.
Those conversations was last week. Over the weekend we prayed together and seperately. I went to Henry and said I was sorry for trying to manipulate him (ie tears and general upsetness) into doing what 'I' wanted him to do. He accepted my apology. That is when I started to pray more and more about being in the will being obedient to God's word that I believe he has given Henry and most of all, adhering i.e obeying to the order of the house...
Fast forward to this week. I am still very sad sometimes, I still pray over and for Amaya everyday. i am still unbelievably sad sometimes and stressed and lets not forget HUNGRY....ALWAYS HUNGRY...
I digress, anyway, this week I said ok I have to start getting myself out of this sadness and stress etc etc. So i started playing my praise and worship music. Like i started playing it Loud, thanking God for being my ever present source... The word says. "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God" Psalm 42:11.....
The father is the help of my countenance, and I just had to keep praising him and seeking him and worshiping him and as my aunt says when I don't have anything elste to give, just say Jesus out of my mouth... When I want to cry our eat or eat and cry,,,, I actually literally say out of my mouth, even if it is just a whisper, "Jesus". I call on the name of the Lord God our Savior Jesus Christ. This week has been better, I get my praise music on and I pray and praise and worship and slowly but surely some of the dark edges are receding I am reminded that God has not forgotten me. He is in the midst of this situation he is working it out for the God of us who love Him our Lord.
Its good to know that God is my hope. I believe for Amaya. I believe for her being born an alive healthy, whole, happy, smart, lively, giving, sweet child that I will have the pleasure of dedicating back to the Lord......Praise and worship refreshed me so that I could keep believing. Obeying my husband and getting on the same accord again aloud me to hear and accept the word more.
God is in the midst people, God is working right now for your situation...
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