Woke up this morning feeling better. Feeling like it is ok, its all ok. Going to apologize to the Hubbin for being so angry that he does not want to adopt, at least he wants to foster. I think maybe that will help. I have so much more love to give, that maybe it wasn't supposed to be to another biological child, but to help children in need. At this point I don't know....my mind is just trying to help my heart make sense of it all.
I know I can't keep on being angry that will destroy a marriage. Satan prowls about like a roaring lion seeking those he can devour. I think this whole situation is an example of that scripture, so instead, I am going to look for the positive in the situation and in my husband.
I am still heartbroken, but I am coping. I gave, all the newborn clothes away to the salvation army that helped, I couldn't breathe really you know. I couldn't keep looking at them. We are on track to go to the new parent foster class on the 29th, and I am getting braces today...So those are all good things.
Fighting depression not so much a good thing....but I am going to fight it with scripture and prayer.
I am also going to think about fasting, maybe I can grow closer to God by fasting. I need to be in the will, and the presence because I am so sad.
Still dieting, yaaaaayyyy right.
Thats all for today.
Whoop Whoop
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