I have gained about 16 pounds in these four months way more than i wanted not nearly as much as I did with Layna. I have some symptoms that are the same as they were last pregnancy. Namely, my neck hurts like crap.... the tendons in my neck hurt. I have to either take a shower or use a oatmeal wrap i heat in the microwave to relax my neck muscles. While this is painful it is nothing compared to this time last pregnancy with Layna. With Layna my neck locked up. Like I could not turn it completely to the left or right. My range of motion was severely limited to the point I had to take the oatmeal wrap to work with me in order to make it through the day. The doctor says with my history the neck spasms are more severe, but they do happen in pregnancy anyway. Sooo there ya go I guess.
Today. I woke up this morning, at 3:45 and I prayed and prayed for this family, for this marriage, for Alayna for the baby I am carrying. I mean I just gave it all over to God.
I remember saying in the prayer that I speak life into this family, into this marriage into this pregnancy, into Alayna's life, and into our parenting. God, hallelujah, has shown up in my life. He has drawn closer to me, as he promised he would, if I drew closer to him. I even prayed for my ex. I prayed that the Lord would bless him -with abundance and his mate. I know I have grown Jesus. This last year whew Lord. I have meet the Lord. He is my friend, my father, my confidant, my everything. I told my husband, I always have had a sense of self. I should go back and say, no I have always had a sense of God, and that has given me a strong sense of self, of purpose and of discernment. I can make a decision because I can weight the choice against the word of God, and then the choice is easier. Somewhere in that prayer time or getting betting breakfast, I heard Hezekiah Walker's song Grateful, and my heart leaped up and I could sing it- and I understood it because that is where I am in my life. I am grateful to the Lord for his loving kindness, his correction, his conviction. I am Grateful for all that he has entrusted in me. To the point that I don't just want my actions to look correct or be correct, I want the motivation of my heart to be correct, towards all in my life every area. Because God deserves nothing less.
That is why I can pray for my husband, I can pray that Lord arrest his heart and lifts him up and shows him his great assignment. That is why I pray for the wonderful beautiful sweet natured Alayna who has made my life so full and my heart so happy. I pray for Alayna in the present, i speak life over her future. I pray for her mate. I pray that her heart is turned toward the Lord. Hallelujah Jesus. I pray for my child because the greatest gift I can give my children is to introduce them to Love of the Lord which transcends all. That is why I am here. That is what motherhood is to me. This child that is in my womb now I pray the blessing of the Lord over her, over her life, over this pregnancy and delivery. Over her life outside of my body.
The song lyrics, that touch me is the chorus, and it says
Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Gratefulness is flowing from Heart.
That is how i feel gratefulness is flowing from heart, it is impacting my life, my walk as a wife as a mother as a child of God. Hallelujah to the one true God.
Battle Cry for Today: 1 Chronicles 16:9--Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell
of all his wonderful acts.
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