Last night I woke up out of my sleep in unbelievable pain. My head felt like a burning hot sharp knife was launching into my head over and over at the speed of light. I actually woke up whining and crying. It woke up Hubbin. I couldn't talk I was in so much pain, Finally I got the word migraine out. Hubbin rushed and got me the tylenol which is the best thing I can take pregnant. That didn't work. He got up five times in a hour and a half or so and got hot oatmeal compresses.
That didn't work, it only dulled the pain a little. My head hurt to the point I couldn't lay it on the pillow because the pressure was excruciating. So I was sitting upright with my arms and hands on pillows cause everything in my body at that point felt heavy. i was moaning and crying with the pain. Then hubbin helped me into a hot shower. The steam helped some but the headache came rushing back.
Finally I couldn't take the pain anymore and I knew what was coming. I yelled for hubbin to get a bucket, I was at the end, I was going to vomit. That is what happens with my migraines. The pain goes on and and on for hours and then my body literally can not stand it any longer and I hurl. Vomitting was the only thing that helped to ease back the pain.
Hubbin and I went to sit on the couch cause I still couldn't lay down, he put his arm around me, and I was able to tilt my head on his arm and he and I fell asleep like that till I woke up and got throw for him to cover with.
Through the whole thing he kept me hydrated and helped me through the pain. today, I still have a mmm somewhat headache, like the kind that stays on the finges doesn't go away but isn't overly aggressive either. I was able to get up do laundry, make dinner, between periodically having to lay down from the headache or fatigue.
I thank God for my husband. - And i tell him so. I was in so much pain last night I literally could not see. I couldn't think straight and I was scared to do anything because my balance was off. He helped me through all that. Thank God for my covering.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Feet and Small Woodland Creatures
Nothing new to report thank God. I am believing that our little Alexander is doing great.
So we are riding along in the car coming from getting my gran gran some candy. And
I feel the need to say to hubbin, "I am still a person. I am not just wife, mommy, incubator etc. I am Keda, I am sexy, and fun and relevant." Hubbin just looks at me smiles and says, "so we are in that stage of the pregnancy are we."
I look at him and bust out laughing. It is good to be with someone who has been with you long enough to have perspective. Yes I am at that stage in the pregnancy.
When i look down at my rapidly expanding belly, boobs that have just recently stopped hurting, cheeks that look like I am hiding small woodland creatures in them and feet that are splayed and I swear are growing right before my eyes. I have to remind myself of who I really am cause this is not it.
So in the midst of all of this giggling in the car. I announce I am going to go and get my hair and feet and brows done tomorrow. Why?
To remind myself, that I am a sexy, fun, relevant, slightly (well a LOT) more plump than usual woman. Aaaannnd i deserve time to revisit the woman that I am, even while I occupy the titles of wife, mama, daughter, preggars etc, that I hold.
Battle Cry: This one is simply from me to all my fellow preggars.
You are still beautiful, sexy, fun, and relevant.
So we are riding along in the car coming from getting my gran gran some candy. And
I feel the need to say to hubbin, "I am still a person. I am not just wife, mommy, incubator etc. I am Keda, I am sexy, and fun and relevant." Hubbin just looks at me smiles and says, "so we are in that stage of the pregnancy are we."
I look at him and bust out laughing. It is good to be with someone who has been with you long enough to have perspective. Yes I am at that stage in the pregnancy.
When i look down at my rapidly expanding belly, boobs that have just recently stopped hurting, cheeks that look like I am hiding small woodland creatures in them and feet that are splayed and I swear are growing right before my eyes. I have to remind myself of who I really am cause this is not it.
So in the midst of all of this giggling in the car. I announce I am going to go and get my hair and feet and brows done tomorrow. Why?
To remind myself, that I am a sexy, fun, relevant, slightly (well a LOT) more plump than usual woman. Aaaannnd i deserve time to revisit the woman that I am, even while I occupy the titles of wife, mama, daughter, preggars etc, that I hold.
Battle Cry: This one is simply from me to all my fellow preggars.
You are still beautiful, sexy, fun, and relevant.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
20 weeks and Severe Sciatica
Yaaaayyyy, I am 20 weeks and two days into our pregnancy. i am so excited. I am blessed.
Vitals, blood pressure border line, runs mostly 124/84 or so sometimes over 85.
Weight, high...yeah i feel huge
Fatigue, still unreal, can not stay woke past 8pm. I am tired all the time, even after walks, eating fruit and veggies, I am tired. But it is better than first trimester.
And now here coooooommmmmmmesss the Sciatica.
For those of you who don't know, Sciatica is fairly common in pregnancy. I had it before with daughter but it was third trimester I believe. This time, along with the neck pains, and the fatigue, I have severe sciatica in my butt. To the point that when i stand or try to climb stairs, two very sharp pains stab me literally in my butt and goes down my legs. I can't really make it up or down stairs without that happening. When i stand it happens, and today of all days, i sat on the couch and felt it on both sides. But in time this goes away. And then of course it comes back probably in third trimester.
I am so excited to be getting further and further towards third trimester and meeting Alexander.
Today was Christmas we had a wonderful wonderful time. Alayna and her cousins had a wonderful time. Mama and daddy are tired.
No battle cry today. instead Thank You God for our Savior Jesus Christ.
Vitals, blood pressure border line, runs mostly 124/84 or so sometimes over 85.
Weight, high...yeah i feel huge
Fatigue, still unreal, can not stay woke past 8pm. I am tired all the time, even after walks, eating fruit and veggies, I am tired. But it is better than first trimester.
And now here coooooommmmmmmesss the Sciatica.
For those of you who don't know, Sciatica is fairly common in pregnancy. I had it before with daughter but it was third trimester I believe. This time, along with the neck pains, and the fatigue, I have severe sciatica in my butt. To the point that when i stand or try to climb stairs, two very sharp pains stab me literally in my butt and goes down my legs. I can't really make it up or down stairs without that happening. When i stand it happens, and today of all days, i sat on the couch and felt it on both sides. But in time this goes away. And then of course it comes back probably in third trimester.
I am so excited to be getting further and further towards third trimester and meeting Alexander.
Today was Christmas we had a wonderful wonderful time. Alayna and her cousins had a wonderful time. Mama and daddy are tired.
No battle cry today. instead Thank You God for our Savior Jesus Christ.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
It's a Boy!!!!!
18 weeks and six days.
We had our ultrasound on Thursday and we are so pleased to announce we are having a little boy. I love him so much already. His name is Alexander Emmerson. A strong name for a strong man.
I have gained lots of weight. I will have to work it out. I am doing pretty good. Tired from the pregnancy and the thyroid, tired a little short of breathe and just fatigued in general.
Blood pressure scare, just like last time. But no protein in pee, no swelling thank you Jesus.
I am sitting here laughing I was soooo sooo sure we had an Amaya on board, the Lord said no, I give you a son. He, the Lord God is correct in all his ways.
We have decided that this will be our last child, praise God. We think two is enough. I am sad about that in a way, glad and accepting in another way. I always wanted lots of children. But my husband has not always wanted a gang of kids.
Plus pregnancy is hard on my body. Although our little Alex has been good to his mama, I have been extremely tired from the beginning. Like extremely. I have had a headache everyday for two weeks straight. Sometimes short of breathe, makes it hard to work, cause i have to catch the headache before it turns into a full blown migraine. They want to give me stronger stuff, i stick with the Tylenol. But not as sick with nausea as I was with Alayna.
It is something when you realize you are deciding to not have any more children, but something else when you are filled with awe and praise and gratefulness for the child you are carrying.
It is a wonderful awesome privilege and responsibility to be carrying this little boy. God is soo good. I pray that Alayna and Alexander are close and the loves her and protects her even though he is the lil brother. hahaha....
I still wake up everyday and pray for my baby. This time though I know who I am praying for. I pray to God that Alexander is a good man, loving, strong, smart. A man who's heart and character is found in his love for the Lord. A man that brings honor to his family, and who continues this family name.
I have started praying even more for my husband too. That God will teach him how to be a father of a man/son just as he has taught him and me to be a father/mother of a daughter.
God is good and I am tickled blue... Welcome Alexander... Mommy loves you.
Battle Cry:
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. Ps 127:3-5 (NAS)
We had our ultrasound on Thursday and we are so pleased to announce we are having a little boy. I love him so much already. His name is Alexander Emmerson. A strong name for a strong man.
I have gained lots of weight. I will have to work it out. I am doing pretty good. Tired from the pregnancy and the thyroid, tired a little short of breathe and just fatigued in general.
Blood pressure scare, just like last time. But no protein in pee, no swelling thank you Jesus.
I am sitting here laughing I was soooo sooo sure we had an Amaya on board, the Lord said no, I give you a son. He, the Lord God is correct in all his ways.
We have decided that this will be our last child, praise God. We think two is enough. I am sad about that in a way, glad and accepting in another way. I always wanted lots of children. But my husband has not always wanted a gang of kids.
Plus pregnancy is hard on my body. Although our little Alex has been good to his mama, I have been extremely tired from the beginning. Like extremely. I have had a headache everyday for two weeks straight. Sometimes short of breathe, makes it hard to work, cause i have to catch the headache before it turns into a full blown migraine. They want to give me stronger stuff, i stick with the Tylenol. But not as sick with nausea as I was with Alayna.
It is something when you realize you are deciding to not have any more children, but something else when you are filled with awe and praise and gratefulness for the child you are carrying.
It is a wonderful awesome privilege and responsibility to be carrying this little boy. God is soo good. I pray that Alayna and Alexander are close and the loves her and protects her even though he is the lil brother. hahaha....
I still wake up everyday and pray for my baby. This time though I know who I am praying for. I pray to God that Alexander is a good man, loving, strong, smart. A man who's heart and character is found in his love for the Lord. A man that brings honor to his family, and who continues this family name.
I have started praying even more for my husband too. That God will teach him how to be a father of a man/son just as he has taught him and me to be a father/mother of a daughter.
God is good and I am tickled blue... Welcome Alexander... Mommy loves you.
Battle Cry:
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. Ps 127:3-5 (NAS)
Monday, December 2, 2013
Choices
Sometimes when you look back at the choices you made to get you to where you are now, your mind gets bombarded with questions....You're wondering, did i do the right thing, was I listening to the Lord when this happened, where my decisions well thought out or was I acting out off some far flung emotion.
But then you look around at the tangible things, things that are real, breathing, talking walking in your everyday life. And you realize that what ever choices brought you here don't even really matter. Whatever rational you had at the time does not matter either.
What matters right now at this moment, is taking care of those God has put in your charge. Everything else, the esoteric, the philosophical, the 'what if'... Is a non issue, cause what is real at that moment is the responsibility you have brought into your life. They didn't ask you brought it....
Ahhh sooo yeah, adulthood can trap, can sting, and can be very unfair....But still what matters at the moment in question is your duty to carry on.
Battle Cry:
Psalms 37:23
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.
(I pray that these next steps are ordered)...
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Grateful Grateful Grateful----Is flowing from my heart
Today I am 16 weeks and six days.
I have gained about 16 pounds in these four months way more than i wanted not nearly as much as I did with Layna. I have some symptoms that are the same as they were last pregnancy. Namely, my neck hurts like crap.... the tendons in my neck hurt. I have to either take a shower or use a oatmeal wrap i heat in the microwave to relax my neck muscles. While this is painful it is nothing compared to this time last pregnancy with Layna. With Layna my neck locked up. Like I could not turn it completely to the left or right. My range of motion was severely limited to the point I had to take the oatmeal wrap to work with me in order to make it through the day. The doctor says with my history the neck spasms are more severe, but they do happen in pregnancy anyway. Sooo there ya go I guess.
Today. I woke up this morning, at 3:45 and I prayed and prayed for this family, for this marriage, for Alayna for the baby I am carrying. I mean I just gave it all over to God.
I remember saying in the prayer that I speak life into this family, into this marriage into this pregnancy, into Alayna's life, and into our parenting. God, hallelujah, has shown up in my life. He has drawn closer to me, as he promised he would, if I drew closer to him. I even prayed for my ex. I prayed that the Lord would bless him -with abundance and his mate. I know I have grown Jesus. This last year whew Lord. I have meet the Lord. He is my friend, my father, my confidant, my everything. I told my husband, I always have had a sense of self. I should go back and say, no I have always had a sense of God, and that has given me a strong sense of self, of purpose and of discernment. I can make a decision because I can weight the choice against the word of God, and then the choice is easier. Somewhere in that prayer time or getting betting breakfast, I heard Hezekiah Walker's song Grateful, and my heart leaped up and I could sing it- and I understood it because that is where I am in my life. I am grateful to the Lord for his loving kindness, his correction, his conviction. I am Grateful for all that he has entrusted in me. To the point that I don't just want my actions to look correct or be correct, I want the motivation of my heart to be correct, towards all in my life every area. Because God deserves nothing less.
That is why I can pray for my husband, I can pray that Lord arrest his heart and lifts him up and shows him his great assignment. That is why I pray for the wonderful beautiful sweet natured Alayna who has made my life so full and my heart so happy. I pray for Alayna in the present, i speak life over her future. I pray for her mate. I pray that her heart is turned toward the Lord. Hallelujah Jesus. I pray for my child because the greatest gift I can give my children is to introduce them to Love of the Lord which transcends all. That is why I am here. That is what motherhood is to me. This child that is in my womb now I pray the blessing of the Lord over her, over her life, over this pregnancy and delivery. Over her life outside of my body.
The song lyrics, that touch me is the chorus, and it says
Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Gratefulness is flowing from Heart.
That is how i feel gratefulness is flowing from heart, it is impacting my life, my walk as a wife as a mother as a child of God. Hallelujah to the one true God.
Battle Cry for Today: 1 Chronicles 16:9--Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell
of all his wonderful acts.
I have gained about 16 pounds in these four months way more than i wanted not nearly as much as I did with Layna. I have some symptoms that are the same as they were last pregnancy. Namely, my neck hurts like crap.... the tendons in my neck hurt. I have to either take a shower or use a oatmeal wrap i heat in the microwave to relax my neck muscles. While this is painful it is nothing compared to this time last pregnancy with Layna. With Layna my neck locked up. Like I could not turn it completely to the left or right. My range of motion was severely limited to the point I had to take the oatmeal wrap to work with me in order to make it through the day. The doctor says with my history the neck spasms are more severe, but they do happen in pregnancy anyway. Sooo there ya go I guess.
Today. I woke up this morning, at 3:45 and I prayed and prayed for this family, for this marriage, for Alayna for the baby I am carrying. I mean I just gave it all over to God.
I remember saying in the prayer that I speak life into this family, into this marriage into this pregnancy, into Alayna's life, and into our parenting. God, hallelujah, has shown up in my life. He has drawn closer to me, as he promised he would, if I drew closer to him. I even prayed for my ex. I prayed that the Lord would bless him -with abundance and his mate. I know I have grown Jesus. This last year whew Lord. I have meet the Lord. He is my friend, my father, my confidant, my everything. I told my husband, I always have had a sense of self. I should go back and say, no I have always had a sense of God, and that has given me a strong sense of self, of purpose and of discernment. I can make a decision because I can weight the choice against the word of God, and then the choice is easier. Somewhere in that prayer time or getting betting breakfast, I heard Hezekiah Walker's song Grateful, and my heart leaped up and I could sing it- and I understood it because that is where I am in my life. I am grateful to the Lord for his loving kindness, his correction, his conviction. I am Grateful for all that he has entrusted in me. To the point that I don't just want my actions to look correct or be correct, I want the motivation of my heart to be correct, towards all in my life every area. Because God deserves nothing less.
That is why I can pray for my husband, I can pray that Lord arrest his heart and lifts him up and shows him his great assignment. That is why I pray for the wonderful beautiful sweet natured Alayna who has made my life so full and my heart so happy. I pray for Alayna in the present, i speak life over her future. I pray for her mate. I pray that her heart is turned toward the Lord. Hallelujah Jesus. I pray for my child because the greatest gift I can give my children is to introduce them to Love of the Lord which transcends all. That is why I am here. That is what motherhood is to me. This child that is in my womb now I pray the blessing of the Lord over her, over her life, over this pregnancy and delivery. Over her life outside of my body.
The song lyrics, that touch me is the chorus, and it says
Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Grateful Gratefulness is flowing from Heart.
That is how i feel gratefulness is flowing from heart, it is impacting my life, my walk as a wife as a mother as a child of God. Hallelujah to the one true God.
Battle Cry for Today: 1 Chronicles 16:9--Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell
of all his wonderful acts.
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