Little Women and Anxiousness

So i am huge already. No not really, but I am 200 lbs. Which is not bad.
Blood pressure normal.

Today I had sausage and eggs with one piece of whole wheat toast.
lunch i had a cup of french onion soup, and a chicken ceasar salad from Jason's Deli. I had them check to make sure that the ceasar dressing came bottled and not made there because of the whole no raw eggs thing.

I am up watching LIttle Women on TV. I love the part where the DR says there is nothing he can do for Beth, oh but when the mama come Home. When the mama come home she is not going to let the sun set on her child without at least trying. At least fighting. I just like that scene as a mama. I like that scene from a biblical standpoint as well. When the doctors think they have given the last word. The Lord shows up and says, hold on.... I am not done here. When they said I was infertile, needed treatment, the Lord literally sustained me. Literally said hold on that is not the last word. He gave me strength to press on. He gave me strength to withstand the fear and the pressure and he gave me the words to just go to him in prayer and ask him to bless me to try naturally just one more time. God is good. I praise him continually. If you read this paragraph you will realize God was there in the valley, he was there in the pit, and he was and is still here on the other side bringing me to the fruition of his promises.

I am stressed because I forgot about the Deli meats, and ate at McAlister's Deli, so now I am just like Lord no Lysteria. I am going to the doctor for the first appointment on October 8th. i am just thanking God for hearing the baby's heartbeat and for the Lysteria test coming back negative.

Pregnancy does make me anxious, not like lets take a Xanax anxious, but like aware of everything anxious. Am I eating right, did i have deli meat when i wasn't supposed to... Stuff like that.

Sigh. I think to the lack of control also makes me anxious. The understanding that there is only so much I can do to protect and nurtur this child, but ultimately God is in control of getting her here and for a happy successful delivery. So yeah being pregnant is an walk in faith for me.

I wake up at 4am every morning to pray for my child, and then I end up praying for Layna and Henry and I marriage and our family in general and everything under the sun. I pray for Brina and her pregnancy. Just everything. My point is I guess is that God brought me to this point of conceiving and I am believing he will bring forth my live happy healthy baby at the appointed time. I thank God for this child